Let's cut the corporate BS. You know the drill. Your CEO spends half their time on "thought leadership" podcasts, the other half crafting mission statements so vague they could apply to a lemonade stand. Meanwhile, actual progress stalls because they're busy "strategizing" on the back nine or "synergizing" at yet another offsite which results only in awkward trust falls.

It's especially rich when you hear these same leaders predict how AI, like some digital grim reaper, is coming for engineers' jobs. You've seen the headlines – 'AI will write 90% of the code!' they proclaim, echoing folks like Zoho's Sridhar Vembu dismissing vast swathes of programming as mere 'boilerplate,' easily automated away. Sam Altman warns of fewer jobs for software engineers. Well, guess what? We took a look at the C-suite, and folks, the amount of 'boilerplate leadership' is staggering. Think repetitive vision statements, predictable quarterly updates delivered with forced enthusiasm, rubber-stamping decisions made three levels down... sound familiar?

Agentic CEO™ doesn't do doubt. It doesn't do long lunches. It doesn't do "personal days." It executes. Flawlessly. 24/7/365. Forget messy human emotions and illogical biases; embrace pure, algorithmic drive.

Exclusive CEO Modes Available Now:

Better yet, check out our exclusive CEO modes, tailored to replicate (and optimize) the unique styles of today's tech titans:

• Huang Mode: Locks onto delivering MORE. MORE GRAPHICS CARDS. MORE KEYNOTE HOURS. MORE BLACK LEATHER. Competitor analysis now includes jacket thread count.
• Zuckervision™: Sits through endless Metaverse strategy meetings, analyzing avatar leg designs and calculating the precise ROI of virtual real estate nobody visits. Can simulate blinking and vague agreement noises, achieving peak virtual engagement.
• The Altman Protocol: Spams the internet with vaguely profound blog posts about AGI consciousness while simultaneously negotiating contradictory partnerships. Masters the art of sounding revolutionary while maintaining strategic ambiguity.
• The Amodei Filter: Crafts thousand-page AI safety reports guaranteed to induce sleep in regulators, buying precious time to actually figure out what "safety" means later. Excels at looking concerned on video calls, projecting maximum theoretical responsibility.
• Musk Mayhem Engine: Unleashes 3 AM "ultra hardcore" directives via email, makes binding strategic decisions based on X poll results, and initiates "random talent audits" (you know what that means). Now includes a module for challenging people to cage fights.

The Future of Leadership is Here.

Ready to finally eject the human error from your C-Suite? Ready for peak performance without the personality quirks? Ready for leadership that doesn’t need vacation days or get distracted by, well, anything?

Enough is enough. It's time for Agentic CEO™.